Last week I have made one of the hardest decisions of my life. It is official and I will not be returning to coaching next year. I absolutely LOVE coaching. I have loved learning about volleyball and I have especially loved coaching basketball. I love watching my players fall in love with the game like I did at their age. I never thought I would say this but I love middle school aged kids! They are so influential and being able to coach this age has been a blessing. The kinds of relationships you have with your players is something I have cherished and will be the thing I miss the most. However, the long hours and stress of it all has taken a toll on my body. I think I have done pretty well this year but I feel as though I am making the best decision for myself and my family. It is not fair to my own kids for me to come home each evening and not have enough left in me to give them what they need. After the long days of school and practice I am physically spent. Being a mom is my number one priority and I want to be able to do that every day.
I am not sure what is in my future for next year. I do have some anxiety about the unknowns in our lives right now. I know I want to continue to teach and work with kids. As exhausting as that can be some days I know this is my calling, I am praying that God will continue to calm my heart and guide me in the right direction.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Year 1
Today is exactly one year since I was diagnosed with Guillian Barre. I have had several people ask me if I am glad that 2014 is over, and in a way yes I am. I don't want to say it was the worst year of my life, but it was definitely the hardest year of my life. As I reflect back on this past year there are many lessons that I have learned. I have learned a lot about myself, the people around me, and most importantly God.
Lesson #1: You are WAY stronger than you think you are.
I have always felt like I was a pretty strong person, but I think we all can get to a breaking point both emotionally and physically at some point. I got to those breaking points several times over the past year. I felt sorry for myself and threw little pity parties, but I got over them. What else do you do? Life continues. No matter what hand you are delt in life you still live it. I still had a job to go to, kids to take care, friends and family to hang out with. You live. You get to a point where it really is mind over matter. You believe you can move forward and you do. Yes, I have had my set backs over the past year and yes there are days when I feel like there is never going to be a light at the end of the tunnel but you just keep going. I give myself pep talks all the time and tell myself "you can do this, you are way stronger that you think you are." It works.
Lesson #2: People are good.
I have seen how good people can be over this last year. When something like this happens you kind of expect your close friends and family to come to your rescue and take care of things, and mine did, but so did sooooooooo many more! We didn't cook a meal for 2 months. People took care of my kids, offered to clean my house, sent cards, money, surprises for my kids, the list goes on and on. People prayed for my family and emailed and called. Some of these people I had never met in my life. They just wanted us to know they were thinking about us. People are good.
Lesson #3: I married way above me.
I could not have done all of this if it wasn't for Rory. That poor man had to take on more things in the last year than anyone should ever have to. He became both Mom and Dad. He worried, he didn't sleep, he sat in my infusions for 7 hours, and he never complained. I thank God for this man daily. I don't know how I was lucky enough to marry someone so amazing. I definitely married up.
Lesson #4: God is good.
We hear this saying all the time, but we usually hear it when something great has happened to people. But I'm here to tell you that God is good all the time, even the hard times. In fact I have never felt closer to God as I have in this past year. When you get knocked down the only place to look is up. God has taught me so much throughout this experience. Not just the lessons I have listed above, but many, many more. My lesson is this. I know a God who gives hope to the hopeless. I know a God who loves the unlovable. I know a God who comforts the sorrowful. And I know a God who has planted this same power within me. My lesson is that I have seen the good in people that God has showed me and my hope is that I may live the kind of life that He would be proud of. A life that loves the unlovable, gives hope to the hopeless, and comforts the sorrowful.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my family over the last year. We seriously couldn't have done it without you and it means more than you will ever know.
Lesson #1: You are WAY stronger than you think you are.
I have always felt like I was a pretty strong person, but I think we all can get to a breaking point both emotionally and physically at some point. I got to those breaking points several times over the past year. I felt sorry for myself and threw little pity parties, but I got over them. What else do you do? Life continues. No matter what hand you are delt in life you still live it. I still had a job to go to, kids to take care, friends and family to hang out with. You live. You get to a point where it really is mind over matter. You believe you can move forward and you do. Yes, I have had my set backs over the past year and yes there are days when I feel like there is never going to be a light at the end of the tunnel but you just keep going. I give myself pep talks all the time and tell myself "you can do this, you are way stronger that you think you are." It works.
Lesson #2: People are good.
I have seen how good people can be over this last year. When something like this happens you kind of expect your close friends and family to come to your rescue and take care of things, and mine did, but so did sooooooooo many more! We didn't cook a meal for 2 months. People took care of my kids, offered to clean my house, sent cards, money, surprises for my kids, the list goes on and on. People prayed for my family and emailed and called. Some of these people I had never met in my life. They just wanted us to know they were thinking about us. People are good.
Lesson #3: I married way above me.
I could not have done all of this if it wasn't for Rory. That poor man had to take on more things in the last year than anyone should ever have to. He became both Mom and Dad. He worried, he didn't sleep, he sat in my infusions for 7 hours, and he never complained. I thank God for this man daily. I don't know how I was lucky enough to marry someone so amazing. I definitely married up.
Lesson #4: God is good.
We hear this saying all the time, but we usually hear it when something great has happened to people. But I'm here to tell you that God is good all the time, even the hard times. In fact I have never felt closer to God as I have in this past year. When you get knocked down the only place to look is up. God has taught me so much throughout this experience. Not just the lessons I have listed above, but many, many more. My lesson is this. I know a God who gives hope to the hopeless. I know a God who loves the unlovable. I know a God who comforts the sorrowful. And I know a God who has planted this same power within me. My lesson is that I have seen the good in people that God has showed me and my hope is that I may live the kind of life that He would be proud of. A life that loves the unlovable, gives hope to the hopeless, and comforts the sorrowful.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my family over the last year. We seriously couldn't have done it without you and it means more than you will ever know.
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