I can relate

We took the kids to the Ross Perot museum last week. It was an awesome place but the kid's favorite area was the sports museum. Shocking I know. They have this 2 lane track that is approximately 30 yards long. There is a huge screen that spans the entire length of the track that allows you to race famous athletes but also things like a cheetah or a T Rex. My kids LOVED this and could've spent all day racing each other and imaginary dinosaurs. 

While we were there a kid and his grandad decide to race. His grandad is wearing a button up shirt and kahki pants but is wearing his tennis shoes. I turn to my brother and say how awesome it is that this older man is going to race. In those few seconds before they take off I start to think about how I wish I could race my kids but can't right now. I start to envy this 80 year old man for the physical abilities that he has over me. My brother turns to me and says "this isn't going to end well." He was right. About 5 steps into the race the older man loses his balance and falls face first. We all stood there shocked. He layed on the track for a while unable to get up. Other people came to his aid and it wasn't until the man next to me jumped the rails to help him that I realized that I wasn't doing anything to help. I was frozen. As they helped the older man up from the track he turns and says "I guess I'm not as young as I thought I was." I instantly tear up. Yes it was very sad that he fell, but what made me so sad was that I knew how he felt. I knew that he probably got on that starting line thinking it was just a fun race. Something his grandson would always remember. I don't think he thought he was going to win but I don't think he thought it was going to be a challenge just to run 5 steps. I know that feeling. There are days when I'm shocked at how much harder things are for me. I know what it's like to feel old. I'm not old by any means but my body feels that way. It also made me sad because I've always seen myself as the grandma that will be shooting hoops or playing dodgeball with my grandkids. Right now I can't even do that with my own kids. I don't want this to sound like a pity party. I've come a long way since January and I'm not planning on slowing down. I still plan on being that grandma but there was something about that moment on the track that struck a nerve with me. I couldn't stop thinking about this man and how embarrased and disappointed he probably was with himself. I couldn't stop thinking how I wish I would've talked to him. Told him how I want to be that kind of grandparent one day, even if I do fall. Because we all fall sometimes don't we?

Rest assured, God is interested in you, even when you have fallen.

Psalm 145:14, "The LORD uphold all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down."